September 1, 2017
Listen, you need more fun in your life. I say this with confidence because I have yet to meet a mom (or person) who’s like, “Aww, thanks, but I’m actually totally full up in the fun department. I just can’t take another night out with the ladies and the idea of a side-splitting laugh makes me want to cry.” Am I right?!?!?
We all need more room in our lives for the things that bring us joy, remind us who we are, make us better at being ourselves. We need more FUN, dammit.
I grew up in a family where there was a heavy emphasis on fun. We had a lot of dance parties and tea parties, we never missed an opportunity to dress up (I recall wearing a petticoat to a terrifying number of occasions), and my mom would never simply hand you a present if it could be turned into a scavenger hunt.
But, even with all of this exposure to daily joy, as an adult and, especially as a new mom, I felt like I was sinking. Like I wasn’t a part of the equation anymore. Like there wasn’t room in my life anymore for what made me me. For what brought me joy, solely me as Kara, not as a mom, or wife, or friend (weirdly, it wasn’t Elmo, even though we were spending a whole lotta time together).
And that made me grumpy. And resentful. And left me crying. A lot. Which you can imagine was SO MUCH FUN for everyone in my life.
I didn’t want to live like that (I can’t imagine why, can you?) so I decided to make changes. And, here’s the thing, you guys, these changes were tiny. I mean miniscule. Like if I didn’t tell accost you on the street and tell you allllll about them, you’d never know I was doing anything differently.
But, over time, those little things have added up and gained momentum and become habits of joy, a reflexive muscle that activates even in the crappiest of times.
I can now say with confidence I genuinely have fun with my family every single day. I enjoy the crap out of them, eh, a very high percentage of the time. I show up in my life on a regular basis now and do things that are for me and DON’T EVEN FEEL GUILTY.
Is it perfect? Yes, absolutely.
KIDDING! I’m still a hot mess who gets annoyed because dishes are often my life and I want to sleep until noon and why is everyone asking me questions all the time?!???! I still struggle (and imagine will always struggle) with depression, even though it feels far away at this moment.
But, omg, it’s so much better and everyone in my family is so much happier because I am happier and can bounce back more quickly.
Now, with this, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is there isn’t a magic pill you can start taking that will – SHAZAM – allow you to more easily access your joy button (that sounds dirty, but you know what I mean). It’s like anything else you have to – plfftttttt – do the work.
But, the good news is the work is ridiculously small and has HUGE pay offs. I mean we’re talking little, teensy baby steps that can lead to a life where you laugh more easily, connect with your kids more quickly, giggle with your husband (I’ll let you determine if that one is dirty or not), and feel like a rock star version of yourself more often than not.
BUT, HOW DO WE DO IT, OH WISE MASTER KARA?
Well, my little butterflies, this is why you should join my newsletter! ACK!!!
Each week I’m going to put out one hot tip for how to have more fun and it is going to be SUPER-EASY and ACTIONABLE, something you can start doing this minute that will get you results.
I have quite the hefty list ready to go and each tip may or may not involve eating donuts. I’m still trying to figure out a way to work it in. (See, told you it was easy stuff.)
You guys, I want nothing more than for all of us to be our best rock star selves. It’s like the old saying goes, “When mama’s rockin’ her bad self, the kids grow into their best rock star selves too and no one ends the day crying in a corner.” Or something like that.
Sign up for my Serious Mom Fun newsletter here!
And, I know, I know, ANOTHER JUMPSUIT. But, it matches Alice and I just couldn’t help it because one piece items are the breath that gives me life.
Photos by my gal Milou and Olin.
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